Captain Aggravated

The floor is made of lawn.

Mouse figured that out but Switch was a wet blanket.

If you look very carefully, there’s four, maybe five pxels between the n in on and the m in my that aren’t a holy shit moment.

Oh now it’s don’t have time/know how? I thought it was “too poor.”

lol whatever.

Reverse the genders and tell me how women would treat that guy.

Ah, you were a don’t-stick-your-dick-in-crazy.

So, guys don’t care about a girls income that much. There’s an entire subculture of men that prefers or demands being the sole breadwinner of their families. I’m going to say the word “tradwife” and consider my point made.

Guys will go for an unemployed girl. Pretty and nice will get you a man. Which weren’t you?

Mind you, when I was in college I tutored freshman chemistry for an hour on Wednesdays and made more than $25/week at it; how delusional was your business plan?

And none of them are missed.

Almost all of my memory of the original Avatar:

I went to see it with my girlfriend at the time, and she kept reaching into our bag of popcorn, getting engrossed in the movie and just leaving her hand in there, so if I wanted popcorn I’d scritch at her wrist with my fingertips.

There’s a point in the movie where it does this big heavy fade to black. It’s near or beyond the midpoint of the film, and someone in the theater said “Act two.” and half the audience cracked up.

Jake Sooolly.

People talk about the spectacular CG effects, I really only remember one scene, Native Chick takes Jake Sooolly for a walk in the woods at night and everything’s glowing. That scene was striking. Most of the rest of the movie is stored in my brain as visual sludge.

I also remember the news talking about people being upset that they couldn’t be tall sexy blue cat people.

It’s just a jug of sodium laurel sulfate. Because cleaning a man is mainly a degreasing operation.

Every time I pet my cat, a random stranger somewhere in the world dies. There’s 8 billion people in the world, at least a few hundred are born and die every minute.

Idiocrat

Look, I’d like to see that little shit do better.

Homestaw Wunnew.

No lemons, on melon.

Too bad I hid a boot.

Lisa Bonet ate no basil.

War sir is raw.

Was it a car, or a cat I saw?

The all-new Ikea Cjardboord.

Which is why I was fine with Google’s usual take, there’s a switch in the options you have to turn off to allow installing software from outside the Play store. Keeps the normies on the rails, anyone who pushes the “I’ll take my chances” button is assuming personal responsibility.

Meanwhile: spoofing telephone numbers. We don’t have the same problem with, say, email, do we? We basically need to tear out the telephone system and replace it with something that works in the modern era, quit barely emulating the form factor of a century old system that basically doesn’t exist anymore.

You can’t say the phone companies should block calls from unverified numbers while at the same time saying Google shouldn’t block download of unverified apps.

Sure you can. There’s a difference: Whether or not the owner of the handset requested the traffic.

A random APK from F-Droid isn’t going to suddenly demand my attention while my phone is sitting on my desk with the screen off. An Indian man threatening to jail me if I don’t mail him Amazon gift cards has and will again.

You’re not going to find an Obama Hope edition firearm out there.