Can I introduce you to my best friend Jesus

Nope

Hernandez?

Wow dude, just wow …

deleted by creator

I want you to put a rod in my hole

…

So paper towels?

His house is at the doctor.

The answer is incest and willful ignorance.

Actually science has proven that so you take in all knowledge throughout your entire life and the moment you are introduced a fact you will instantly change your mind on all related information.

True, if you believe you can survive the border guard shooting at you you don’t need any money at all.

Well obviously I do but I’m not a giraffe.

Why would the giraffe have a 6 foot torso?

*Prevent unseemly bulges

That’s a bug not a feature.

I mean it is, clothes to wear under your clothes that makes you more indecent while wearing them than not They should be called adult diapers because they only serve to soak up urine and shit stains.

How do you generally Gangbang / Masterbate?

You sayin’ it’s glass???

The college kids carrots are growers not showers?

I can’t go back to the ocelots, I owe them transient ether shards, and I’ll never be able to make them back on my own, I’ll just hang out in this life until the heat cools down. and by that I mean The heat death of the universe, I have no plans for after that.

I told you that in confidence!

“What food makes you grow” works for women assuming the next word is pussy.

I would argue it also applies to alcohol if I was arguing, which I am not.

Drop this:

• Fitness whole animal in his mouth.

Bonus points for saying thang

*Fitness whole thang in yo mouth.

That way it sounds like the whole thing is spoken in the accent fitness was in.

Bro forgot he wasn’t T-rex no more.