I can’t find it now, but I once read an article that said that bc patriarchy devalues women and our opinions and centers men, it results in straight (and non straight men I suppose) centering other men in their lives. Since only men’s opinions matter, men do everything for the approval of other men, usually the “manliest” man. For example, “trophy wives” are usually more about showing off to other men rather than bc the husband actually wants to be married to or is even super attracted to her. Or some men will pretend to not be attracted to a woman if their male friends have deemed her unattractive. Basically, they have done studies on it and if you search for homosexual desire and patriarchy you can find some (though I can’t find the specific one I’m thinking of)
Obligatory I’m not trans myself, but this is just my understanding of how people justify their hatred
Trans women also get talked about more bc of the transphobic lie that “trans women are just men that want in on women’s spaces to prey on women” and that “trans women are predators.” This is all bullshit. But it’s built upon the patriarchical idea that men have to protect women from other men. Men are simultaneously painted as the protector and the danger and which category they fall into is generally determined by how close they are to the in-group. So cis het non-white men are “dangerous,” but there might be some “good ones.” And white cis gay men can be “okay,” as long as they don’t “make it their whole personality” (re: keep it a secret and never mention it even once). However, trans women are antithetical to patriarchy so they are seen as like the “most dangerous.” Whereas, trans men, while they aren’t part of the in-group, they also aren’t seen as a threat bc transphobic people think someone AFAB can’t be dangerous. Again, this is all bullshit, but it’s bullshit that people who have bought into the patriarchy believe and act violently upon sometimes so it’s important to understand how they got to that so that we can deconstruct it