Each person is different but the medication is cheap and you can try it for a couple weeks and see if it helps.

Most men go through this. We start life sweet and innocent. We hold doors open for girls. We listen. We try to be great friends. We don’t touch them unless they ask us to. And we become permanently friendzoned.

Most of us start observing what the successful guys do. Almost the exactly opposite. They ignore women. They touch them without consent when going in for a kiss or hug or affection. They tease them and call them names. It works.

Then we get into a long term relationship and realise that the skills which worked to attract women don’t work so well in a relationship. Now we need new skills. Communication. Resilience. Diplomacy. Compromise. Grit. Understanding. Often this is where relationships end, but many of us learn and adapt and grow again.

I have come to understand that most of what shaped me is the needs and demands of the women I have been seeing. I didn’t make these changes because I wanted to make them. I did them out of necessity. I wanted a relationship and a family, so I did what I needed to do. I’m not sure what it’s like from the women’s side. It seems easier.

Yeah Pink Lady are outrageously good. Store in the fridge. I normally preference crunch over taste, but Pink Lady has it all. A seriously good balance of sweet and sour, and arguably the best crunch in an apple.

Holy shit this comment could have been written by me. Normally people have issues with lactose. Or gluten. Or FODMAPS. Nope. My stomach hates everything. Thank goodness for meat, rice, and eggs.

FYI I recently discovered I have bile acid malabsorption. It was a long road to diagnosis, but a lot of people with IBS have BAM. In the U.S. they just prescribe the medication and see if it helps. It helps me a LOT. To the degree I can eat small amounts of FODMAPs and lactose now. Just a piece of apple, but you know what? That’s better than no apple. I’m down to 1-2 poops a day, and they look almost normal.

I’m not sure which “pill” I’m about to take but I really think what you describe is less “sexism” and more “human nature.” I’ve seen attractive men and women get promoted on the basis of their attractiveness and sex appeal. It is especially prevalent in customer-facing roles. For some reason, people buy more from attractive people. They trust them more. They’re less likely to cancel contracts. They complain less. They agree more. Everyone just seems happier and more content. A slew of psychologists have a lot to say about this phenomenon so I don’t need to rehash it.

I think sexual appeal is inextricably linked to being liked, for good and bad. Some people are born on third base. Some people need to work much harder to be funny and charming.

We just tell ChatGPT to check our networked containers now.

how positively I’m perceived on a given day seems to not correlate with any work done

seems to mostly depend on how I look in meetings

I have discovered that being liked is more important than doing anything. This appears to be a near universal reality, and applies to work, relationships, family, religion, politics, home renovation, economics, finance - you name it. Always be nice to your colleagues. Smile a lot. Be interested in their hobbies. Say yes to social time. This is how you get promoted. If you want to make it to the C suite, you need to put in a little effort. Not too much though. You don’t want to become too important in your role to promote.