“Im gonna go headbang outside”

head slams into the ground so hard my eyes bulge out

No, its because i have such a massive and large penis that it is intimidating to look at. Im a nervous person so i havent even masturbated yet. Thats how big my penis is.

Them staring at mine

i want to see it

Im not meant to be on the trolley

oh the trolley eventually hits a wall and explodes

oi me gawd dat crop bro

Me in the trolley while everyone is arguing

Dam i thought these were upside down stainless steel wine glasses for way too long

Me not having kids and ending my family line with me:

How many times does Iran need to be clapped? Looks like they won’t leading the Middle East with Russia and China.

Back in my day you could say literally anything online and pull the old “call the internet police” line and nothing would happen.

Not saying it should go back to that or anything, but i gotta admit it was the wild west for a teenager on the internet in the early 2000s lol.

Once I got dared to drink some of the juice dripping out of a bin filled with these rotting in the QLD sun

"Ic þancie þe swiðe - "

first time tasting something that sour

When they realise blowing their ass out in a public toilet makes noise

Me opening Lemmy to feel happy

“Not really forced, but defs not consensual” goalpost is still there mate, and nice try ignoring my reply. Look, i dont actually care. This was an off the cuff comment that i didnt really wanna defend but i took the bait. I wanna go home.