Snot Flickerman

Rule 3789 of the Pirates Code: never keep your device fully charged.

Bisexuals: Por que no los dos?

Even better? Vasectomy.

What about condensed milk or powdered milk? Do they count as distinct leches as well?

Year of the privacy conscious Linux Wank

How can she slap!?

I mean… pretty sure that’s satire. The last sentence has “why waste time say lot word when few do trick” energy.

Its probably those dudes who don’t wash they ass and they worried your fingers will get stank from touching it.

I’d rather have a Venezuelan wife anyway. Blue aliens are overrated, they don’t even have aliussy, just weird tentacle shit.

Priorities, priorities.

Shyrah Horse

Isn’t that Energizer, not Duracel?

Edit: nevermind, I guess they both have rabbit mascots.

Roots, rock, reggae.

Why are you going 60 on a city road where there is foot traffic? Because Hitler.

No fair, you changed the outcome by measuring it!

That’s what I usually tell women once I have them in bed.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P5jGyy2qL84&t=43s

“We’d like to talk to you for a few minutes about diabeetus.”

Like the fact that this says “Like Scoob where did you go?” instead of “Like Scooby-doo, where are you?” feels like a missed opportunity.

It’s probably mostly satire at this point now that it got well known. womp womp.