Smuuthbrane

Your carrot is sad.

Damn, that’s some happy cereal. Maybe if I eat it I can consume the happiness for myself.

Elmo should do CrossFit.

“Look me in the eye if you have your plug in too.”

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOO DOESN’T USE TURN SIGNALS UNDER THE SEA?

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!!

Is this one if the rules of the pirate code?

No no no.

“ARRRR, WE BE TAKIN’ YER CARGO, AND PERHAPS YOUR LIVES AS WELL, PLEASE AND THANK YOU!!”

“Dude, click the fob again.” “I TRIED that, it didn’t work!” “But we might be closer now, try it again!” “OK FINE… SEE? NOTHING?” “Is that the right fob?” “…” “What? It isn’t, is it?” “I low-key hate you right now.”

“I came inside a hornet ball…” 🎶🎵

Why do those look so damned aquatic?? Like, I joke about my wife being cold blooded, but for this person I’d believe it.

God’s inflator is just too small, but he’s trying, OK??

AVAST, YE SCURVY DOGS, WHO’S READY FOR A CUDDLE??

These British tattoo artists are out of control.

My mom doesn’t like box so we never had it growing up, I have no idea how to prepare or serve it correctly. ☹️

He’s not even planking correctly. SMDH

Having to scrape (or luck) the last 5 mL out of a paperboard box.

Admittedly, it’s a first world problem.

You’re not wrong at all. My favourite Japanese word is “gu-rey-pu-fu-root-su” for grapefruit. Like, bro, copy off me but don’t make it look like you’re copying. 😂

Wow, you’re restrained. I had absolutely lost my shit by 30 seconds. I’m still laughing if I even think about it. My eyes hurt.

Arrr, I be smuuthbrane the pirate. Now ye know me, I be no longer a stranger, we can all be friends! Ya-harrrr!!

It’s not ideal because it’s not in me yet.