Consent is the magic word here, and you seem to have forgotten it exists. I’ll let you in on a secret: some women really like it when you wanna have sex with them, even if they’re sleeping. Shocking, I know.
This is all a you problem. Your shame is misplaced. Just tell your partner not to do anything to you in your sleep, and your problems are solved. But realize that not everyone has your same problem.
Consent is the magic word here, and you seem to have forgotten it exists. I’ll let you in on a secret: some women really like it when you wanna have sex with them, even if they’re sleeping. Shocking, I know.
Be less terrible.
Sleeping people can’t consent, period.
EDIT: I also REALLY hate being woken for anything other than emergencies, so this personally grinds my gears.
Awake people can preemptively consent to being woken up however they like. Source: I have actively requested and enjoyed being woken up like this.
Not an edit: I REALLY hate it when other people try to tell me what I can and cannot consent to, so this personally grinds my gears.
This is all a you problem. Your shame is misplaced. Just tell your partner not to do anything to you in your sleep, and your problems are solved. But realize that not everyone has your same problem.