Wait a second, this red chalk is pink!

That’s just false advertising.

Wait, are they saying that they don’t know what a chicken is?

So Faux News is run by Decepticons?

This reminds me of a friend of mine, whose great grandfather is the reason the suburb he grew up in still has a law requiring owned guns to be stored with the police. Apparently the old man was a proper bastard and had a habit of hanging out in his porch, shotgun in hand, terrorizing other residents.

It must be difficult to walk anywhere with people. It’s a miracle he hasn’t died from a paraphism.

I was particularly impressed by the performance of the baculum’s character and how it outsmarted the animatronic leather-faced Muppet.

Cowboy: wrangles herd animals from horseback

Cow boy: abomination in the eyes of man and Azathoth

It’s apples and oranges but fruit is fruit.

You know your town is going to shit when you can’t even finish your baked mostaccioli because some asshole decided to stab his brother 5 feet away from you.

Look, Israel is a monstrous, genocidal country, but that doesn’t mean Iran is good.

I’m gonna pose comically in front of a brick wall so my shadow is burned that way into it.

Horses were also domesticated thousands of years after dogs. So dogs got there first.

Also the toilet broke.

Did you grab any extra? The cost of ram is way up right now.

He may be a Sox fan, but he’s still one of ours. -Chicago

Is he smoking while wearing a mask? That’s pretty cool, NGL.

I know who Katy Perryb is, but the only Ruby Rose I know of is from RWBY.

To be fair, where else are you gonna find even one pay phone, much less a row of them anymore?