Based.

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You can squeeze in an extra few hours of sleep in the weekend of you destroy your body with alcohol after work instead.

I was once asked ‘why is there charcoal in the fridge’ when referring to mushrooms.

Crap like this convinces me were all gonna be alright.

If I microwave my balls does that count as gene editing?

WHOA BLACK BETTY

TFW mom found the pissdrawer.

We had a guy call in one day saying he couldn’t make it as he was having car problems. Boss says he didn’t even know he had a car. Guy replies: I don’t. That’s the problem.