Melania is that you?

It would be generous to call that a plan.

I think you touched on how social pressure can make it toxic.

By no means advocating for a change in how we define adulthood but a recent paper looking at topographical turning points in the brain identified adolescence as extending from 9 to 32 years of age which explains a lot in my view.

Might be a good time for them to learn about the curry leaf.

Most people don’t really know what they want until they’ve had their perspective is broadened.

Filtering people out based on specific physical attributes is wild in my opinion. So glad I found my partner before that became ‘normal’.

That being said I’m speaking for full fledged adults. We have research now that suggests adolesence extends to age 32. I wouldn’t be suprised if people in their 20s were overly focussed on the concept of a perfect physical match in their search for a partner, just from my memory of living through that age.

If we’re going off election results it would be nearly two thirds of white men and more than half of white women so YMMV depending on which part of the country you’re in.

For which party and why? I would contend many people enjoy sex most when their partner is someone they respect, provided they’ve developed to a certain level of maturity. Perhaps you have an alternate rationale.

Even within dom/sub and other BDSM variations I would hope both partners respect each other because without that you’ve entered a very toxic and destructive space.

This must be devastating for the Switch which also happens to be nearly tied for best selling console of all time.

Many don’t have a solid point of reference to work from. Maybe they’ve seen a movie or heard a new parents speak on the challenges of taking care of a newborn. The first year is definitely work.

After that things fall into place for the most part if the child was planned. You certainly need to have saved money and have people / family to help.

There is so much joy that comes with having a child that it can be hard to put into words.

Not only do you begin to see the world through their eyes (in a curious, more gentle and appreciative way) - which would be good for many adults - you also rediscover yourself.

You remember the way you saw the world when you were younger. You remember what made you tick. You remember what adulthood may have taken from you. Things that once may have even defined you. They bring it all back such that you see the path of your life to this point more clearly and perhaps even can chart its future course with more certainty.

I also have a much better relationship with my parents now. As immigrants raising three kids with essentially no help I have so much respect and appreciation for the sacrifices they made. I don’t think I would have ever truly understood the hardship they took on to have us in a country with more ideal economic opportunities if I didn’t have kids myself.

If someone is truly that hateful, at least they’re being kind enough to remove themselves from the gene pool.

Most happiness indices use flawed methodology. I wouldn’t take them too seriously.

Having a child requires more planning for sure. Spontaneity is certainly fun but I do think that the ability to plan ahead is part of what rounds us out as adults.

I vibe and chill every night with my wife after the kids are asleep at 8. If we want to go out they stay with the grandparents.

Can you be as spontaneous as your were in college or as a young uncommited professional? Not really. But with a little planning you can still have your fun.

I acknowledge a lot of this comes down to finances and how functional your family is and so may not be feasible for many people. But I do want to gently push back at the idea that ideas of individuality, self-actualization etc must be deferred because of children.

You need a community to make it work and the problem is many people have less and less of that these days.

If you talk to locals - yes, this is the perception. I imagine they would be the most reputable source on the subject. Sex trafficking in southeast Asia has a colonial history so its in part a continuation of that legacy.

America’s war in Vietnam increased demand for trafficked women in the region during the 50s and 60s. That market persisted even after the war ended.

My personal experience (I’m sure others will have conflicting experiences) is its usually done by upper middle class or wealthier white men and it isn’t much of a mystery since they will openly brag about.

I’m not a woman but will speak on what little I know from life experience.

From a woman’s perspective, an offer to share intimacy is not necessarily validating in the way a similar offer may be received by a man.

For some, perhaps many, women there is the looming question of whether an offer of intimacy is simply a man looking to make them the object of their sexual gratification. Many women are not interested in that.

As men, we’re not used to getting offers. So much so that when we get one it makes our day, week, month etc. For many women, the challenge is not getting offers, but there is a looming question of whether the offer genuine. What is the intention of the person showing interest? It’s not that men aren’t also concerned with these questions. It’s just that, for a variety of reasons, the stakes are lower for men. So they spend less time thinking about them and more on just being excited someone noticed them.

An unsurprisingly one sided perspective on gentrification with no attention given to the displacement and economic exclusion of those already living in those ‘ghettos’ and ‘hoods’.

Can communities built on a settler mindset ever reconcile their past and grow beyond it? Or will it always be ok as long as the people that do it have money and dress / act / talk the way some may like?

It wasn’t open to interpretation.

And yet, 2000 years later, here we are.

As a PoC we kinda just go with the flow. Got a few scattered family members that support him for his regressive values but its very few and far between. For white people, I can only imagine, entire families must have had a schism put through them.