• potoooooooo ✅️@lemmy.world
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    6 days ago

    OKAY BUT HOW. I can’t even find one damn person, now I’m supposed to find multiple WHO ARE COOL WITH EACH OTHER!?

    What kind of lives do you people even lead?

    • PhoenixDog@lemmy.world
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      5 days ago

      My fiancé and I were splitting up. I met my now partner on Tinder. They were poly from the start so I had to get used to that.

      Married 8 years now, they’ve added a boyfriend and I have two girlfriends.

      • dingus@lemmy.world
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        1 hour ago

        How does that work with time spent with one another and housing? I feel like I’d be tired trying to prioritize spending time with so many different individuals if that makes sense. I barely have the energy to hang out with one friend lmao

        • PhoenixDog@lemmy.world
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          17 minutes ago

          Some of our partners are long distance to it’s about planned travel like visiting someone for holidays. But we’re in talks with one of my gfs to move here permanently and she’d likely live about 20 minutes from us. So I’d more than likely see her after work as I work in the town she’d live in, then go home to my partner. Or my gf would spend the weekend here or something.

          Genuinely, Poly isn’t for everyone. It’s literally multiple relationships. Think about how much effort you put into your own monogamous relationship. Then add another. And another. My partner I live with we’re working on getting them abdominal surgery and top surgery. My GF who might move here is a medical student who’s clinically blind is living with her mum who has major health concerns so she goes to school full time and then has to come home and caretake. My other GF is dealing with her dad possibly dying while she navigates weight loss, body image issues, and surgeries coming up this summer.

          And I need to be available all the time for all three of them. It’s not all about “Omg you must have so much sex”. It’s about being present for people you love 24/7. And if you find that difficult for spending that energy on one person… Then don’t do Poly.

          • potoooooooo ✅️@lemmy.world
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            5 days ago

            I just don’t think I have the time or energy to learn an entirely new, even harder gender, at this stage. I’m on easy mode and getting my ass kicked already. My ex-wife WAS jealous of my calves in heels tho so…

    • captainlezbian@lemmy.world
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      5 days ago

      Skill issue.

      But for real I run in circles with a lot of polyamory and have been open from the start of my relationship with my wife that I wasn’t interested in monogamy (she wasn’t either)

    • Kushan@lemmy.world
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      6 days ago

      Honestly it’s a lot of calendar management and Trello boards. But we get to share on the cost of subscriptions, which is nice.

    • eupraxia@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      6 days ago

      early on I mostly just got on with my partner’s partners, didn’t form relationships with all of them but if I like someone, chances are I’ll like their partners too!