Sommehow reminds me of this story:
“A senior monk and a junior monk were traveling together. At one point, they came to a river with a strong current. As the monks were preparing to cross the river, they saw a very young and beautiful woman also attempting to cross. The young woman asked if they could help her cross to the other side. The two monks glanced at one another because they had taken vows not to touch a woman. Then, without a word, the older monk picked up the woman, carried her across the river, placed her gently on the other side, and carried on his journey. The younger monk couldn’t believe what had just happened. After rejoining his companion, he was speechless, and an hour passed without a word between them. Two more hours passed, then three, finally the younger monk could contain himself any longer, and blurted out “As monks, we are not permitted a woman, how could you then carry that woman on your shoulders?” The older monk looked at him and replied, “Brother, I set her down on the other side of the river, why are you still carrying her?”
Tell me you got banned from reddit and miss it dearly without telling me
Woman bad. 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
OP, for the drama bait. Woof.
stop posting ragebait this isnt reddit
I must be weird, or maybe it’s because I used to date someone like Grey, but the impression I got about green is not that they said that because they didn’t want to go out anyway, it was that they were glad grey revealed themselves to be uninterested in them even if it was kind of in a sleazeball way, acting like it was just fine to cancel last minute to go be with someone else.
More like green was happy grey pretty much just sent up a red flag and confirmed that they dodged a bullet.
Was that not the point we were supposed to take away from this?!
Love your chicken, by the way.
Gray does not understand the relief of cancelled plans.
“Cancelling plans is like heroin.” -John Mulaney
It is literally like being told you can leave work early and still get paid.
Mmm the ragebait tastes so good though I feel righteous and angered
Who’s in the wrong here?
Everyone in this thread who is too stupid to realize this is fake rage bait.
As is your comment. Rage bait within rage bait. Meta rage bait. Ragebaitception. Ragebaiturducken. I see you.
Have you ever considered that other people are smart enough to realize it’s probably a hypothetical scenario?
The important thing is that you found a way to appear superior to everyone.
Although rude, I appreciate when people tell me outright I’m not a priority for them. So I can adjust my own.
teal really proved living well is the best revenge.
Neither one is someone I want to talk to but grey really should’ve just put the phone down and focused on that promising opportunity
I don’t think grey actually has another “opportunity”. This feels like a negging tactic to me.
Remind me what negging is again
If I understand it correctly, it’s the use of negative framing of another person’s physical attributes or demeanor, constructed in the hope the receiver of the “negging” has low enough self-esteem to agree with the assessment and will assume the asshole is a person of higher intrinsic worth.
There might be more to it, but I usually just think of it as a form of reverse psychology + emotional abuse.
That’s right, thanks. I haven’t heard it in awhile
I think demeaning or belittling are the old timey terms for the same behavior. Negging is just the term when it’s used as a strategy by incel/pickup culture assholes.
Gotcha. That makes sense
Green has a decent counter play against being snubbed first, but it surely is a dick move versus just saying “okay, cheers”.
However, we humans do crave drama, and I’ve been entertained, so I think in the grand scheme of things, as a miniature Shakespearean tragic comedy, I will allow for it to be cosmically more good than bad. Perhaps they both learned something. Or it’s all fake ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Not sure if I’d count what Green did as bad, in any way.
Petty, maybe, but justice demanded grey have some social consequences for their behaviour, and green most certainly delivered.
Having someone show their red flag this early warrants a “thank god” methinks. Also, “thank the flying spaghetti monster” is more like it.
Also, “thank the flying spaghetti monster” is more like it.
Christ alive, y’all are some enlightened individuals. *tips fedora*
Christ alive
Spelled Chris wrong, buddy.
I’d throw in a Hail Satan for good measure tbh
Red flag? “This is going to sound bad but I need to cancel, sorry” is way more than you’ll get dating, 90% of the time. IG they could’ve told them sooner, but I also don’t know how serious things are. It looks like a perfectly adult response.
Regardless, saying “Thank God” when you were just confirming a date with someone feels like a knee-jerk reaction to save face and insult the person you feel ditched you.
The proper and respectful way to cancel a date would be to say - for example - “look, I’ve thought this through and I am not feeling it, I changed my mind about further dates, I appreciate the time you spent with me & I wish you all the best!”
The red flag here is mentioning someone “promising” and not wanting to miss the opportunity. It says in the same words “you are not a promising character”. The comparison is the hurtful thing you don’t say out loud if you want to be respectful of someone’s feelings.
And the proper respectful thing would be to give the person you’re cancelling with more notice than an hour before hand, and only after they contacted you to confirm.
I hope they got in such a tizzy over this that it ruined their “plans with someone else” cause they showed up all sour.
Dating culture is so toxic, I’m glad it’s just me and my cat these days…
Greens response could’ve meant (s)he had a busy day at work and was glad to put their feet up. The bluntness met have been unintended.
Grey then exploded and made it a problem, showing that green actually dodged a bullet.
(s)he
✨they✨
(t)hey
(t)heyyy
(w)hat’s the name of that doc?
he … OR SHE
i think i was referencing a movie or tv show scene when a guy was trying to be progressive and when they were talking about an unknown person, he kept going “he … OR SHE did this or that”
I thought you were referencing this bit by comedian James Acaster: https://youtu.be/Zt5qJC1xQ8A
yes, this, i converted this into a scene in my memories lol
(s(t))he(y)
That doesn’t make a lot of sense. The T could only be there when the S is also there. I think what you’re going for would look more like
(s/t)he(y)
Or maybe
(s)(t)he(y)
I mean it was a joke but yeah (s/t)he(y) works better
I know it was a joke, I wouldn’t have suggested better alternatives otherwise haha
Counterpoint: Grey’s responses take a solid 30 mins. Green does not bother to clarify what they meant that entire time.
Did green go overboard? Yes. Could grey have communicated at all? Also Yes.
Maybe they died?
Of cringe, checks out
or were commuting home, having texted as soon as they got off work
I can’t find it, but there’s a webcomic where stick figure guy sends a text, and then immediately throws his phone off a cliff.
Youre blaming them for not responding for 30min? Im happy when people reply the same day, same goes for me. And Im glad people arent so obsessed with their phones that theyre constantly available.
My mom once blew up at me because I didn’t respond to her text for 23.5 hours.
“Sorry to bother you. I thought you might give a fuck but I see I was mistaken. I won’t bother you again.”
She didn’t call, she didn’t email, she just sent a text and then exploded when I didn’t respond (because I didn’t see it). Anyways, she’s blocked now–I don’t want to make a liar out of my mother, so I won’t let her bother me.
Grey is definitely in the wrong, that’s exactly when you should have used a white lie but they were being a huge dick.
Being dishonest about it would have been way worse.
But grey’s reaction after that is ridiculous.
Obviously you shouldn’t cancel on someone because something more interesting came along. But I would say telling them that’s the reason is worse than just not giving one or making up something.
Yea I’m going to clarify my comment: of course, cancelling for this reason is a dick move.
But I stand by that: being honest about being a dick is better than making up excuses.
I hate people now. Nobody wants to keep their commitments. You can invite people to an event and they will all say yes, until a more enticing thing comes along and the flake on you last minute. If you say yes, be there, tell the other person “sorry I already made plans that day” like an adult
For me the issue is that everyone is always busy.
Me: hey, how about we meet next Friday
Person1: I can only do Sunday from 17 to 19
Person2: I can only do Saturday
Person3: I can do Sunday but from 19 to 21
Person4: I can only do the Friday after that
Or even better, they take 5 days to reply and in the end say something came up.
But once I manage to find the one date that fits most people and plan something people do show up.
Yeah I mean that makes sense, your friends respect prior commitments.
Most of the time it’s not like they are meeting other people. The commitments are like family visits every other week, traveling, studying, fixing something at home and so on. Occasionally it’s some birthday party or something. It’s mostly that everyone is busy all the time. Which I do understand but it takes a lot of of effort to organize something.
Studying and fixing something at home I can see, those you typically move around as needed. The other are prior commitments that you don’t.
Edit: right, Doodle
And wouldn’t this also work as a local-wifi-only mobile app?
You mean doodle? It still exists but since polls are literally built into every messaging app now, its obsolete. It could be relevant if you have a one-time meeting with people who dont know each other and dont have a common messaging app.
but since polls are literally built into every messaging app now
Matrix too? But yes, that one.
If you’re German (or not), use https://nuudel.digitalcourage.de/ instead.
Don’t remember the name but I used it couple of times in corpo settings. I think it weird that we have to organize meetings with couple of friends the same way we organized team buildings. I mean, weekends are for resting. Why everyone has everything booked months in advance? I spend every weekend actively but I don’t have a lot of plans that I can’t drop to meet someone.
The secret of keeping self-organization flexible. Most people are less sensible to stress than us.
I for one will not invite you for anything if I don’t want to do it with you. I also will not accept an invitation to do anything that I don’t want to do with you. I greatly enjoy my own company and have a lot of things I love to do by myself. More people would be happier if they would learn to like themselves and found some hobbies.
I don’t get why people are confused about this.
Grey was horrible human being first. Green’s reply was a response that horribleness. It’s not like green was genuinely waiting to spring that.
…probably.
The only reason grey is in the won’t is for not giving more notice. Like either cancel earlier or plan your other date on another night in the first place. Calling that “horrible” is a but strong IMO. Definitely rude and inconsiderate but dating is completely unpredictable these days.
