• saimen@feddit.org
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    1 day ago

    Sommehow reminds me of this story:

    “A senior monk and a junior monk were traveling together. At one point, they came to a river with a strong current. As the monks were preparing to cross the river, they saw a very young and beautiful woman also attempting to cross. The young woman asked if they could help her cross to the other side. The two monks glanced at one another because they had taken vows not to touch a woman. Then, without a word, the older monk picked up the woman, carried her across the river, placed her gently on the other side, and carried on his journey. The younger monk couldn’t believe what had just happened. After rejoining his companion, he was speechless, and an hour passed without a word between them. Two more hours passed, then three, finally the younger monk could contain himself any longer, and blurted out “As monks, we are not permitted a woman, how could you then carry that woman on your shoulders?” The older monk looked at him and replied, “Brother, I set her down on the other side of the river, why are you still carrying her?”

  • Colonel Sanders@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    I must be weird, or maybe it’s because I used to date someone like Grey, but the impression I got about green is not that they said that because they didn’t want to go out anyway, it was that they were glad grey revealed themselves to be uninterested in them even if it was kind of in a sleazeball way, acting like it was just fine to cancel last minute to go be with someone else.

    More like green was happy grey pretty much just sent up a red flag and confirmed that they dodged a bullet.

    • Dozzi92@lemmy.world
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      1 day ago

      Was that not the point we were supposed to take away from this?!

      Love your chicken, by the way.

  • zqps@sh.itjust.works
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    2 days ago

    Although rude, I appreciate when people tell me outright I’m not a priority for them. So I can adjust my own.

  • I_Has_A_Hat@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    Who’s in the wrong here?

    Everyone in this thread who is too stupid to realize this is fake rage bait.

  • Akasazh@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    Greens response could’ve meant (s)he had a busy day at work and was glad to put their feet up. The bluntness met have been unintended.

    Grey then exploded and made it a problem, showing that green actually dodged a bullet.

  • chunes@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    I don’t get why people are confused about this.

    Grey was horrible human being first. Green’s reply was a response that horribleness. It’s not like green was genuinely waiting to spring that.

    …probably.

    • Kommeavsted@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      20 hours ago

      The only reason grey is in the won’t is for not giving more notice. Like either cancel earlier or plan your other date on another night in the first place. Calling that “horrible” is a but strong IMO. Definitely rude and inconsiderate but dating is completely unpredictable these days.

  • amniotic druid@lemmy.world
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    3 days ago

    Neither one is someone I want to talk to but grey really should’ve just put the phone down and focused on that promising opportunity

    • Sheridan@lemmy.world
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      3 days ago

      I don’t think grey actually has another “opportunity”. This feels like a negging tactic to me.

        • aGlassDarkly@piefed.zip
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          3 days ago

          If I understand it correctly, it’s the use of negative framing of another person’s physical attributes or demeanor, constructed in the hope the receiver of the “negging” has low enough self-esteem to agree with the assessment and will assume the asshole is a person of higher intrinsic worth.

          There might be more to it, but I usually just think of it as a form of reverse psychology + emotional abuse.

    • Tyrq@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      3 days ago

      Green has a decent counter play against being snubbed first, but it surely is a dick move versus just saying “okay, cheers”.

      However, we humans do crave drama, and I’ve been entertained, so I think in the grand scheme of things, as a miniature Shakespearean tragic comedy, I will allow for it to be cosmically more good than bad. Perhaps they both learned something. Or it’s all fake ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

      • MisterFrog@lemmy.world
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        2 hours ago

        Not sure if I’d count what Green did as bad, in any way.

        Petty, maybe, but justice demanded grey have some social consequences for their behaviour, and green most certainly delivered.

      • raspberriesareyummy@lemmy.world
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        3 days ago

        Having someone show their red flag this early warrants a “thank god” methinks. Also, “thank the flying spaghetti monster” is more like it.

        • papalonian@lemmy.world
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          3 days ago

          Also, “thank the flying spaghetti monster” is more like it.

          Christ alive, y’all are some enlightened individuals. *tips fedora*

        • amniotic druid@lemmy.world
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          2 days ago

          Red flag? “This is going to sound bad but I need to cancel, sorry” is way more than you’ll get dating, 90% of the time. IG they could’ve told them sooner, but I also don’t know how serious things are. It looks like a perfectly adult response.

          Regardless, saying “Thank God” when you were just confirming a date with someone feels like a knee-jerk reaction to save face and insult the person you feel ditched you.

          • raspberriesareyummy@lemmy.world
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            2 days ago

            The proper and respectful way to cancel a date would be to say - for example - “look, I’ve thought this through and I am not feeling it, I changed my mind about further dates, I appreciate the time you spent with me & I wish you all the best!”

            The red flag here is mentioning someone “promising” and not wanting to miss the opportunity. It says in the same words “you are not a promising character”. The comparison is the hurtful thing you don’t say out loud if you want to be respectful of someone’s feelings.

            • CileTheSane@lemmy.ca
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              2 days ago

              And the proper respectful thing would be to give the person you’re cancelling with more notice than an hour before hand, and only after they contacted you to confirm.

    • wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz
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      2 days ago

      I hope they got in such a tizzy over this that it ruined their “plans with someone else” cause they showed up all sour.

      Dating culture is so toxic, I’m glad it’s just me and my cat these days…

  • BeardededSquidward@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    2 days ago

    Grey didn’t value Green’s time, even stated someone better came along. Green responded with shade in response for this lack of respect, Grey had a crash out because her lesser choice had teeth.

      • blarth@thelemmy.club
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        2 days ago

        This is an /r/SipsTea male rage bait post, of course the chuds think it’s about them.

      • KingOfTheCouch@lemmy.ca
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        2 days ago

        I mean, for most of the post they tried not to and a single “her” fell out. Something to consider.

        I feel it is an interesting question though. I too assigned genders while reading this the first time so is it naturally ingrained in me? Or is it because of the first person POV of text message exchanges like this?

        Are women reading this and assuming the other way around? Would a different format (eg changing the bubbles to other side, or paragraph format like in a novel) change who we think is which gender?

        • BeardededSquidward@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          2 days ago

          I try to be impartial, but each misstep online gets hammered on hard because apparently you need to be perfect for the imperfect themselves. Changing now would just be admitting to something i"m not so you cannot win. Shrugs I do my best and try to not let small mistakes turn into mountains.

          As well I see other people posting the grey is female initially so that might have influenced me and I didn’t see anyone else calling them out.