This is waay too fucking perfect.
I’ve not owned a farm, but I grew around county fairs and often visited and helped out at horse stables or local / friend’s farms or ranches or what not.
The only change I could possibly suggest is that somehow a horse needs to be ‘big chaotic stupid’, but i know that breaks the system, but goddamnit horses are fucking stupid.
I’ve watched a horse kick itself in the cock
… that… is not something I had previously imagined as possible.
sigh
Horses really are the perfect embodiment of ‘big chaotic stupid’ all 1,200 pounds of muscle and anxiety, ready to spook at a plastic bag and somehow also forget how to walk in a straight line. I vote we make it an honorary alignment just for them. Magnificent, lovable idiots.
They also walk around on their middle fingers so they’re literally flipping the world off with all 4 limbs from the day they were born.
Got attacked by herding dogs a couple weeks ago. I can confirm they’re not as smart as they seem. They left their herd and ran a solid 100m to the road I was walking to stand in front of me and bark. Spoiler alert: I am not a wolf
He was after the two wolves inside you
*Somebody already made that joke, I’m killing myself
Don’t kill yourself. Kill one of the wolves inside you. Then you still have one wolf
Are you absolutely positive you’re not a wolf though ?
Obviously not. You’re clearly a skinny bear with extreme hair loss.
Awooooobsolutely positive
EDIT: Whoops
Are there two wolves inside you?
Yes, but they’re both vegan
Chaotic Bastard is exactly right. Everyone thinks its geese or swans, and although they are truly bastards, roosters are raving rage filled lunatics.
Fucking hate them and chickens tbh. Eggs are just too good.
I like how many kinds of leftovers can be given to chickens. The only limitation is that they have to get curious enough to peck at it. They’ll ignore some delicious shit on their regular food plate if it’s the “wrong” shape and color.
Ducks have a marginally better attitude and personality, and their eggs are much better, IMHO
I disagree, but my dad always raves about how great ducks are. Resilient, resistant to disease, eat everything including garden pests…
I’m on around #30 in my life, both ends of the spectrum across that time. Currently have 3, they are all hybrids with silkies and are all doscile. Last batch were barred rock absolute assholes that would go out of their way for a confrontation.
We had only hens, and the older one who was easing off laying started getting roosterish, the first time she charged me with wings spread and pecked my foot for picking up one of the other birds I was very confused.
I may be lawful stupid, but I’m a good boy, goddamnit.
Woof
is that lawfuc big or stupid now?
Yes
:3
having one of the most intelligent dog races in “stupid” is a bit offensive.
My family has a few… They’re good at some things, but can be dumb as a box of hair at other things. They’re the perfect entry for lawful stupid.
Also, that’s a dog breed. Dogs don’t have races, other than greyhounds at the track.
probably a mistranslation, because both is the same word in German
I have a couple of those. They are smart but do some truly dumbass things sometimes.
Dog doesn’t seem to mind the accusation
I think they care a lot about the lawful axis and not at all about the stupid axis.
I have one. He’s an idiot 😂
Offensive to who
The dog
Why
Why not
Because the aint stupid
True stupid :D I love sheep! Their simplicity enchants me.
While in English usually sheep or sheeple is meant as an insult saying you don’t think on your own and just follow programming, in Estonian it’s just a playful way to call someone a dumbass. It’s something you might say to your significant other or good friend after they make a stupid ass-joke (reverse ass-hyphen xkcd time)
So may we all be sheep on this glorious day
And if you’re cranky “stop being a bear”
Absolutely nothing staring out of those square eyes
It’s nothing but an existential hatred of existence. Damn things are suicidal. There was always a few that managed to kill themselves every year on the ranch.
“Want grass. Eat grass, good.”
I would argue the horses not being sorted in the “stupid” row…
Fair but they must be big. I don’t have horses and haven’t spent too much time with them. Never really liked them tbh.
Shetland Pony has entered the chat.
But then again, Shetties are not stupid…Shetties fall into the pure evil category. It’s not on the chart because the little shits are extra sneaky about it.
I believe you
There was too much stupid going around so they got pushed onto the other category.
Seems about right, though I’d note that if you have geese, the rooster doesn’t even begin to compare for chaotic bastard.
Geese can’t cause you bodily harm. Roosters will straight up kill you.
“What I remember is the goose giving me the evil eye and then the goose wrapping its wings around my head, and I can’t see and I hear myself screaming,” she said.
Surman spent five days in hospital after suffering a concussion, fractured cheekbone, face lacerations including a scar under her eyebrow and loose teeth.
She credits wearing a bike helmet and sunglasses with preventing more serious injuries.
Self-inflicted.
My ass and legs disagree after a gander latched on to my ass and beat me with his wings when I was a kid on the ranch.
Next time he came at me, I had a baseball bat. Roasted gander for dinner.
I’m sure you were fine. Kids have a tendency to overreact. I also was “viciously attacked” by a goose as a child.
Geese have the attitude, but not the weapons.
Roosters are all weapon.
I believe it.
Ok but how do they taste on a sandwich?
I have called my cat all of these at various times. Wonderful.
Chaotic Big should be a donkey
Haven’t spent much time with cattle huh. Idk if any animal fits the lawful big square.
elephants. they mostly choose not to kill. mostly.
Balene whales. The ultimate lawful lifeform.
There’s a place for an Africa version of this.
Chaotic big would be hippos. Lawful big eles. Neutral big giraffes. All 3 will straight up murder you, but only the hippo will do it for fun.
I would say rhinos rather than elephants, put elephants in neutral (although a bull in musth just wants to kill everything) and hippos in chaotic.
I have sheep, goats, pigs,ducks, chickens, a couple llamas, dogs, cats and a couple Hereford cows. The cows have been very easy going/playful in the time I’ve had them.
Well, just don’t get complacent. Cows kill a lot of people.
True enough
Knew a guy who had a bunch of limousines, but it was a bull herd. He said the bigger ones would damn near rape the smaller ones to death. Or maybe they actually accomplished it, it’s been a while and I don’t remember.
I’m hoping cows are friendlier than bulls though
… what?
Yeah turns out the get really aggressive apparently. And animals can have gay buttsecks too. Sometimes it’s… Less than consensual.
… oh… ok
Prepotente, Donut, and Penelope are all appalled
A human family … in this case the farmers family … would also fit in all those categories
funny but not true, i knew nice farmers
lol, including the ‘big’, given the few farmers I’ve known.
